If He Knows That I'm Trying

It is so simple. It's perhaps the least complicated, the truest thing in the world- Islam. It is unbelievable how difficult we make it for ourselves, the tiny little doubts that begin to form as we grow older and become more "educated." The concept of religion becomes more of a fantasy. Suddenly, you're blindsided. All those things you've been taught as a kid, all those things you grew up reciting- do you really mean it? Suddenly religion becomes a personal battle as you struggle to convince yourself that you believe it. That is what you call a religious crisis. Me- I'm guilty of it myself and as I found out, I'm not alone. I underwent a personal journey, discovered Islam for myself. It really was more about what I learned on my own- not things I was taught in Islamic school or things people tell me are Islam. Although those are great resources to strengthen faith, it really became about finding answers to the questions that I had and just understanding what I believed. This whole journey broadens perspective and allows you to understand what you believe instead of reciting something you may not even know the meaning to. The truth is, Islam is amazing. It's more than amazing, its just enough to take your breath away, kind of boggle your mind. The science, the morals, and the perfection is something really worth discovering and I know that there are Muslims out there who have no idea of its greatness. I just think the journey to understanding Islam, really understanding it, is a journey worth taking whether you're a born Muslim, a convert to Islam, or just someone looking for some answers. To people who might be going through this religious crisis, especially in a country where Islam is not supported or has a stigma attached to it, here is a little something that I hope will help:

If He knows that I'm trying
He will allow me to see
If He knows that I'm trying
He will rescue me from me
If He knows that I'm trying
He'll show me the way
If He knows that I'm trying
He'll never let me stray
If He knows that I'm trying
He knows that it's hard
If He knows that I'm trying
My faith He will guard
If He knows that I'm trying
He knows of those nights
If He knows that I'm trying
He'll fill them with light
If He knows that I'm trying
He knows of my doubts
If He knows that I'm trying
He'll clear up the route
He knows that I'm trying
Sees when I fall
He knows that I'm trying
Because He knows it all
And though I have questions
At times am unsure
When He knows that I'm trying
My faith will endure

We all have questions sometimes. We all have doubts and I'm the last person to say that I have figured out everything about Islam. The truth is though, that as long as you keep searching for the answers, as long as you keep trying to find them, I can guarantee that Islam will not disappoint. All you have to do is just really try and Allah will guide you. When He knows that you're trying, He won't let you down. Just trust Him.

Post 9/11- lets face it

It's difficult to be a teenage Muslim in the West today- understatement of the decade. The truth is that it is difficult on levels that many people can't ever understand. I lived in New York during the time that September 11th happened, born and raised in the state actually. I can recall the exact moment when it happened. The scene is forever embedded in my mind, unforgettable even if I try. I was in school that day going through the same mental anguish as every other kid when those blinds were closed and those locks locked. I watched those planes hit the towers again and again and again and again I watched those towers fall. I sat in front of the tv like every other New Yorker- literally shaking. I was the one trying to get my little brother out from under the bed, poorly feigning confidence that there was no danger to us, trying to convince myself before convincing him. I was, with everyone else, praying for it to end. I watched my mom cry as they showed the New York skyline afterwards. "It doesn't look like New York anymore," I still remember her saying. 3000 people were gone- that guy on the bus, that fire fighter across the street. 3000 people were gone and I, along with the rest of New York, could feel the difference.
Following that day, it became unsafe for me to leave my home, not because there were planes falling from the sky or buildings under attack. It was unsafe for me to leave my home because of my name. I was only a child then and didn't understand. I was thrust in a world where people hated me because of my name and my color. Still as I grew older, I mourned that day with not only the New Yorkers, but the rest of the country and still when I meet new people and they learn of my name, it's as if they want me to...apologise. They want me to be ashamed for what happened that day. I was a victim that day, a victim like everyone else in New York. I was born and raised in this country, recited The Star Spangled Banner and the Pledge of Allegiance with my hand on my heart and a solemn sincerity, watched the Yankees play at Yankee Stadium and looked forward to the Fourth of July fireworks at the beach. Today, people who didn't experience September 11th the same way that I did, people who watched it on tv as I lived it, these people think me less American, hold me responsible for what happened. I have always felt lucky, proud to be part of this great country. "The Land of Opportunity"- thats what the world calls it, and I have always wholeheartedly agreed. I am an American because I understand the freedom that I have here, understand that in no other place on earth can one be this liberated, and yet I am still judged by my name. Well, I guess life isn't fair right?

La Ilaha Illa Allah

Ibn Ata'Allah once said, "The realization of La Ilaha Illah Allah is one of the states of heart that can neither be expressed by the tongue nor thought out by the mind" This statement is so completely true.