It's difficult to be a teenage Muslim in the West today- understatement of the decade. The truth is that it is difficult on levels that many people can't ever understand. I lived in New York during the time that September 11th happened, born and raised in the state actually. I can recall the exact moment when it happened. The scene is forever embedded in my mind, unforgettable even if I try. I was in school that day going through the same mental anguish as every other kid when those blinds were closed and those locks locked. I watched those planes hit the towers again and again and again and again I watched those towers fall. I sat in front of the tv like every other New Yorker- literally shaking. I was the one trying to get my little brother out from under the bed, poorly feigning confidence that there was no danger to us, trying to convince myself before convincing him. I was, with everyone else, praying for it to end. I watched my mom cry as they showed the New York skyline afterwards. "It doesn't look like New York anymore," I still remember her saying. 3000 people were gone- that guy on the bus, that fire fighter across the street. 3000 people were gone and I, along with the rest of New York, could feel the difference.
Following that day, it became unsafe for me to leave my home, not because there were planes falling from the sky or buildings under attack. It was unsafe for me to leave my home because of my name. I was only a child then and didn't understand. I was thrust in a world where people hated me because of my name and my color. Still as I grew older, I mourned that day with not only the New Yorkers, but the rest of the country and still when I meet new people and they learn of my name, it's as if they want me to...apologise. They want me to be ashamed for what happened that day. I was a victim that day, a victim like everyone else in New York. I was born and raised in this country, recited The Star Spangled Banner and the Pledge of Allegiance with my hand on my heart and a solemn sincerity, watched the Yankees play at Yankee Stadium and looked forward to the Fourth of July fireworks at the beach. Today, people who didn't experience September 11th the same way that I did, people who watched it on tv as I lived it, these people think me less American, hold me responsible for what happened. I have always felt lucky, proud to be part of this great country. "The Land of Opportunity"- thats what the world calls it, and I have always wholeheartedly agreed. I am an American because I understand the freedom that I have here, understand that in no other place on earth can one be this liberated, and yet I am still judged by my name. Well, I guess life isn't fair right?
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4 comments:
Asalaamualaikum dear sister, you story is really touching. What happened was a test from Allah and Alhamdulillah it seems that your Imaan is still intact, many a muslims have apostated due to 9/11 but just look Allah S.W.T has replaced them with better people. Subhanallah correct me if I am wrong but Islam is increasing at a rapid rate in the United States especially because of 9/11 attacks and the like. I always say this as one 2 of my favourite speakers quote: "It might be that you dislike something and it is good for you, and it might be that you love something and it is bad for you. In the end, Allah knows that which you do not." To me 9/11 caused much good for muslims than they realise, forget what the media has to say it is the whispers of shaytaan and cannot be trusted at all. Have you noticed that immediately after the attacks Muslims were blamed,they couldn't find all passenger names but they immediately had the terrorists names, did they throw their passports out the window?? It's just a thought and also, how is it that the planes hit the top but the building blew from the bottom. It's just thoughts to make us think of what really happened. There is so much negativity and propoganda going around against us muslims but these enemies of Allah doesn't realise they promoting Islam.
I have a lot on my mind so I hope you don't mind my long comment.
May Allah bless you and keep guiding you Insha Allah.
Wasalaamualaikum Sister!
i remember the day of sept 11th, i too was at college, (uk) and came home and as soon as i opened the door, i could hear my family talk about it and then i saw it on T.V. the weird thing is at that time i had no idea who Al-Qaeda was, no idea who the taliban were, no idea what political ideas were going around about iraq, iran and afghanistan, but even then i had this horrible feeling, feeling at the pit of my stomach, knowing that everything was going to change, islam was going to be attacked by every corner. it was as if i felt that the world had just woken up to the concept of Islam, before it meant nothing to non-muslims, but now it was the centre of attention for the entire world. i suppose this meant that people who had never heard of islam before, were now intrigued and it led to many reverts to islam, alhumdulillah! i remember how there were many documentarys on T.V about the religion, some very biased. post 9/11 never affected me as it did you, i guess i felt sheltered in the UK, in a very much muslim/asian community yet it was not me i was thinking about, i was sacred for what Bush would do, was scared for the innocent people in Afghanistan and later on in Iraq. Everything seemed to change so quickly, it was scary how the world was just ready to start wars, and then i guess it hit me, something i knew deep inside me, something i was scared of yet happily accepted too, it was the way it was going to be, it was destined to be, it felt like the start of the begining of Qiyamat. as much as i did not want those planes to hit the towers, they did, and it led to many many more innocent lives lost in different parts of the world, still affecting many innocent lives today. the world certainly changed after 9/11, many people saw the real beauty and peace behind islam, others hated it and many regained what they had lost, pure faith in Allah (swt).
Assalamu'alaikum, sister.
One word from me: Be patience.
Life is a land of test, dear sis. face this difficulty with Sabr (patient), because in every difficulty there is ease. Justice is hard to find here in this world, but undoubtly, you'll find it soon on The Day of Judgement. So, as the title written on this topic, Let's face it. The greater the test, the greater is the reward.
May Allah always guide and help you, sis.
~Your sister on Java island~
Assalamu Alaykum
I live in the USA and i know what you are talking about. But Alhamduillah i am not complaining about it. Our own brothers made us and our amazing faith victims of religion. But by the mercy of Allah SWT Islam is stronger than it was before 9/11 ant my friends that we should be proud of.
9/11 force Muslim to learn about Islam more especially young genernation like myself who use to take their faith for grant.
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